A Very Cannabis 2019 Gift Guide – SF Weekly

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At some point, a bottle of wine just won’t do the trick anymore. If you’re stumped on what to buy the brother-in-law you see twice a year or what to give a beloved aunt who “doesn’t believe” in material possessions, the answer to your holiday shopping woes may be waiting at a nearby dispensary.

Sure, giving someone weed for Christmas may be a tad bolder than a Chipotle gift card, but it’s also a far more thoughtful gesture. In part, that’s because in the two years since California initiated adult-use sales of cannabis, an utterly staggering array of products have hit the market. Beyond innumerable brands dedicated to the cultivation of cannabis flower, there are also teas, bath balms, chili oils, transdermal patches, and much (so much) more.

In 2019, weed is no longer a gift you must slide, unwrapped, under the table with a knowing nod while the ham gets carved. Instead, it is entirely possible now (at least in the Bay Area) to find something at your neighborhood dispensary for everyone on your shopping list. You’ll still need to look elsewhere for anyone under the age of 21, but otherwise, here’s a primer on some of the best pot presents to buy this year.

For the first-time toker

If you’ve decided to take the noble step of introducing a friend or loved one to the joys of consuming cannabis, it’s imperative that you start them off on the right foot. One way to accomplish this is to get them an accessory they’ll have use for from day one. How about a grinder — a prerequisite in every respectable toker’s toolbox? If you want to get a grinder that will endure and help lighten the load, consider Cloudious9’s Tectonic9 Auto Dispensing Grinder, which clocks in at $59.99. Why the cost? It’s because the Tectonic9 automatically dispenses ground flower by means of a steel spout, ensuring no sticky fingers or bits of flower stuck to spikes. This, in turn, makes for an easier learning curve when it comes to rolling joints — a skill your new cannabis convert will surely want to master as soon as possible.

For the professional pothead

Need a gift for someone who likes to microdose at the office but can’t afford to be caught hitting a vape pen or even nibbling an edible? Perhaps you know someone with a medical condition who wants the freedom to consume cannabis in public without having to endure any unfair judgement or scrutiny? Fortunately, discretion is the name of the game for ALT, a cannabis-infused liquid that is both translucent and entirely flavorless and odorless.

Available in packs of five single-serving 5mg doses, ALT is pretty much the gold (but clear) standard when it comes to consuming cannabis with caution. Each vial also features measurements printed along the side that allow for users to meter out their preferred doses as desired, while the product’s water-soluble nature makes it ideal to add to coffee or any beverage.

For the cannabis connoisseur

What do you buy for the person who already hits the dispensary on the regular and knows their stuff when it comes to strains, terpenes, and cannabinoids? Why the best sun-grown flower you can find, of course! This holiday season, look no further than Aster Farms’ “Day to Night” Pack, an inventive selection of five pre-rolled joints (0.7 grams each) that showcase some of the Mendocino County brand’s best work. Packaged in a keepsake tin, the joints are arranged to take consumers from “day” to “night” — a concept that will delight even the most sophisticated cannabis fans and one made possible solely due to the quality of Aster’s flowers.

For the seasoned stoner

In contrast to the connoisseur, there are those of us who need a lot to get lit and want something both extremely powerful and flavorful. We’re talking about people who dab and people who always eat the whole edible. If this description matches someone on your shopping list, grab them a couple of infused pre-rolls from Space Coyote. This cosmic brand’s offerings include joints infused with hash, joints infused with live resin, and a “Black Label” line that features a very potent helping of THCa. Made to be shared, these heavy hitters are not only potent but supremely delicious, offering the best of both worlds to any seasoned stoner.

For the person who hates pot

Some people want nothing to do with cannabis, and that’s perfectly fine. Still, many of us also know people who are understandably traumatized by past pot experiences and are thus extremely hesitant to give the whole thing another shot. Thankfully, that’s where CBD comes in. Offering numerous health benefits but no psychoactive effect, CBD has skyrocketed in popularity in the past two years, which, unfortunately, also means the market is now flooded with low-grade (or, in some cases, entirely bunk) CBD products. Instead of risking it, why not get your special THC-timid someone a jar of Glasshouse Farm’s Jellyfish, a high-ratio CBD strain that contains a minimal amount of THC while still allowing consumers to enjoy the pleasures of smoking raw cannabis flower? Not only does it taste amazing, there’s virtually no THC to be found, ensuring skeptical smokers can ease back into the groove without fear of a bad time.

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